When You Love Your Work

"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch) 05/13/2016 at 12:13 • Filed to: eddie bauer performance fleece, mint legacy ss, integer multiple of the timing belt interval

26

50

When you love your work, you never work a day in your life. I definitely loved my work: I felt a pull toward it. Helping people had always been my jam, and I guess this fell out as a natural consequence of that. Today, the phone bank was busy, and the call centre could not keep up with it. I had to step in and handle a few incomings, help out a few lives in crisis.

Undoing my rod-bearing-shaped cufflink, I rolled up the sleeves on my flannel shirt and grabbed the handset. On the other side of the line, a shrieking voice rang out: “I THINK MY HEAD GASKETS ARE BLOWN.”

Welcome to just another day at the Seat Safety Switch Subaru Crisis Centre, or 4S2C as we like to call it around here. Every day, Subaru owners from across the world call us in either imagined or real panics about the imminent explosion of their cars’ powertrains. Whether it’s your run-of-the-mill Patagonia customer complaining about the nuked head gaskets on their EJ25D Outback, or a sideways-hat NASIOC poster mistaking their vape cloud for a dicky turbo seal, we can help you.

It all started so many years ago, when I would visit the junkyard and harvest the guts of many fine Subarus to keep my harem of hoopties on the road. On the way out of the yard on one particularly warm spring morning, I saw a depressed couple waiting in line at the pawn counter, clutching hands in their Eddie Bauer performance fleece. Their beloved Forester, Prince Charles, had died that very morning from a common transmission ailment and they had come here to put it down humanely.

I helped those people, placing my grease-stained hand gently on their collective shoulder and leading them to diagnose and repair their own Subaru. With tears in their eyes, they promised that they would send their friends to me for advice on how to fix their rolling garbage barges. Of course, I agreed, out of a naive belief that perhaps I could end up with a cheap shell or two from a single mom in over her head and at a substantial integer multiple of the timing belt replacement interval.

It didn’t quite work out that way in the end, but when humanitarian awards agencies would give me plaques and oversized novelty cheques for my hard work in helping the disadvantaged Subaru community, I grudgingly came to feel that the cars themselves weren’t as important as the people.

But I’d still like to get a mint Legacy SS off of someone who doesn’t want to fix the brakes. Send them my way, ok?

ultimatt > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 12:21

7

Subaru owners are the worst.

Seat Safety Switch > ultimatt 05/13/2016 at 12:24

4

I’m pretty sure by now you’ve owned more of them than I have.

More engines , at least.

ultimatt > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 12:26

0

I’ve only owned 3. 4 or 5 engines (how do you count a short block?)
Constantly on the verge of another.

Wheelerguy > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 12:41

0

Care to go back to 2008? I can make you Subaru Rally Team principal and crew chief, because at the rate you’re going, you could have helped Solberg and Subaru win another title and stay in WRC until 2011 at most.

LongbowMkII > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 12:50

14

No lesbians, no Subaru stereotype bingo.

3/10.

Jimpreza111 > ultimatt 05/13/2016 at 12:54

1

Hey there’s a couple of familiar handles from WSC.

El-Verde > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 12:57

3

Subaru’s are a disease. A great disease. But a disease.

dustynnguyendood > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 13:07

5

I have my daughter-in-laws ‘01 Outback sitting in my driveway awaiting open-heart surgery to commence this weekend to replace those head gaskets (external oil leaks, nothing internal yet). Got the upgraded factory gaskets, new head bolts, timing belt kit and degreaser at the ready. Wish me luck!

Color-Commentary > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 13:12

0

This is an awesome post. I’ve never owned a Subaru, but I’ve dated owners, and man, there are some sad stories out there involving transfer cases.

Pinkslip > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 13:19

12

How is Subaru simultaneously known for blowing head gaskets/trannies/transfer cases AND known for their incredible reliability?

TooManyCarsMike > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 13:25

2

The wife has an 06 WRX and it was trouble free until about 125K miles. Then a CEL came on with cylinder 2 misfire. Checked and changed everything, it was all good. Finally decided to pull the motor thinking I would find a broken ringland. Turns out there were cracks between the sparkplug and valves, bad on cylinder 2 but surface cracks on all other cylinders. So we bought new cylinder heads from Subaru (all used ones had the same surface cracks that could cause the same issue later). Pulled the motor apart and did new bearings, seals, valves, wiseco forged pistons and arp headstuds (while youre there). Slapped a VF43 turbo no it and STi TMIC (it already had a cobb intake, and catback exhaust). Loaded the cobb ap tune on it and drove it around for break in. After it was broken in, we went and got a custom tune. Now the car throws a CEL for cylinder 1 and 3 misfire... changed the plug, coil packs, and injectors. Still the same CEL but its random when it shows up. Im not pulling the motor again. The wife loves her Subies and wants another one but because I do all the work on them, I think Im done. Its a shame because it is a fun car to drive.

silenceofthemuffler > ultimatt 05/13/2016 at 13:27

1

If I buy a Subaru for the first time, will be be “the worst” going forward? :)

Does the moniker go away after you sell the Subaru, and don’t own another one?

afex505 > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 13:28

2

That wagon is beautiful, I assume it is yours. Mind telling me the wheels?

silenceofthemuffler > TooManyCarsMike 05/13/2016 at 13:29

0

OK then - Toyotas it is for me..

flatisflat > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 13:29

1

4S2C.

4X2C.

ForX2C.

For ex2C.

For extaC.

For ecstasy.

Subaru. Not quite all the joy, but definitely most of the negative side effects.

And speaking of Subaru ownership: I’ve owned 3 cars, 5 engines — 3 of them intended for the same car.

RallyWrench > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 13:31

3

Patagonia customer complaining about the nuked head gaskets on their EJ25D Outback

Hey, I resemble that remark.

LongbowMkII > Color-Commentary 05/13/2016 at 13:31

4

That may be the strangest anecdote I've heard as Subarus do not come with transfer cases.

Prophet of hoon > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 13:36

0

You haven’t lived until you help someone get their hoopty running/driving then find out that they gave it to their should-have-been-committed nephew.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 13:38

0

It’s like a beetle they turned around.

Zoom > Pinkslip 05/13/2016 at 13:41

3

Kinda like German cars.

Fanboys like to brag they own one and think it’s normal to pour money into a car.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 13:43

1

2 oz of Patchouli oil mixed with 3 oz of dried out Wyoming sage in the coolant will extend the live of those EJ head gaskets a couple more miles.

KuroNekko2 > Pinkslip 05/13/2016 at 13:48

4

It’s because they used to be incredibly reliable. My 1995 Subaru Impreza with the EJ22 engine is an example. I put 225,000 miles on that car with pretty much just maintenance. Only at 200,000 miles did actual repairs start becoming necessary. After some minor engine repairs related to the timing belt, it kept going. I sold it to a friend who drove it in the city for a year before taking it cross-country. Really solid car.

However, ever since the implementation of the EJ25 engine (starting in the late 90's to late 2000's), reliability tanked due to faulty head gaskets in these engines. It was also around this time that the Impreza 2.5 RS and then the WRX debuted, greatly changing the demographics of Subaru owners from intellectuals and lesbians to mouth-breathing “bros”.

As for transmissions, I’m not aware of problematic ones as the 4EAT used in many models forever had a reputation for reliability. Maybe the manuals exploded in the hands of noob tuner-wannabes?

Lastly transfer cases; most mechanics will tell you it’s from improper use or abuse. AWD systems are sensitive about wheel sizes and they don’t like peel-out launches. This then again begs what some of their Monster energy-drinking, sideways cap-wearing, “bro” owners did to these cars.

Skamanda > ultimatt 05/13/2016 at 13:52

2

Short block arguably counts for more , since you don’t necessarily need to take the heads off a long block when you swap it.

I mean, you should , to see what kind of a shit show you picked up this time, but you don’t have to...

drdude > ultimatt 05/13/2016 at 13:55

0

I have a BRZ... does this apply to me?
If it helps, its a Series Blue, so there are STI markings all over it.

Pinkslip > Zoom 05/13/2016 at 14:05

1

German cars are a liiiitle different. They have a reputation for being made of superior materials, and offering a better driving experience than a Japanese or American car. But they’re widely recognized for being expensive to maintain.

Subarus have a reputation for reliability, like Toyota. Except, nothing like Toyota, because Subarus are ALSO known for blowing head gaskets, 2nd gear, transfer cases, etc.

AND, Subarus are noted as being kinda loud and having a lower-rent interior than most other cars- even compared to other Japanese cars. So it isn’t their superior ride, materials, or quietness that earns them high praise.

Brian, The Life of > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 14:07

5

Ok, now I can’t get the idea of flannel shirts with French cuffs out of my head.

OldManMcKenna > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 14:11

1

Shown: my former Legacy GT in its natural habitat.

ceolwulf_lives > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 14:30

2

I’m not as convinced as I used to be that this was a terrible great idea. I think it may only be a middling-bad great idea.

ZoopZoopLoops > Pinkslip 05/13/2016 at 14:37

0

“So we swapped the engine for bulletproof EJ25 from a Subaru...”

...said every build thread ever that wasn’t an LS swap.

Player One > silenceofthemuffler 05/13/2016 at 14:37

1

You will automatically be labelled as the worst.

Once a Subaru owner, always a Subaru owner.

Seat Safety Switch > ceolwulf_lives 05/13/2016 at 14:40

2

People thought it was a bad idea to go to the moon, too.

Seat Safety Switch > afex505 05/13/2016 at 14:42

2

It is not mine. I spotted it while leaving a less-than-reputable hotel in the industrial outskirts of Kyoto.

silenceofthemuffler > Player One 05/13/2016 at 14:47

0

Ok.. how about if I am THINKING about getting one? Am I worse than before? I believe this would go away if I don’t end up buying a Subaru, rite, meaning I am back to being a neutral (not best, not worst) gear head?

/ Not as busy today!

Player One > silenceofthemuffler 05/13/2016 at 14:52

1

You’re probably worse off than before but still okay. But you should really just buy one.

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > dustynnguyendood 05/13/2016 at 14:54

1

Replace the water pump and spark plugs while you're at it ;)

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Pinkslip 05/13/2016 at 14:56

0

Modern Subies just have shitty headgaskets, the auto trans (at least the 4EAT, which is the most common) is stout as is the rest of the car.

Pinkslip > Brian, The Life of 05/13/2016 at 15:27

2

Hipster level: 9000

dustynnguyendood > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 05/13/2016 at 15:50

0

I found someone had written “head gaskets 121K” on the timing cover - thanks, whoever you are! We’re at 220K now, so I’m suspecting the water pump is at least 99K old so it is going to be replaced as well.

Zoom > Pinkslip 05/13/2016 at 16:35

0

I kinda get it.

Like Toyota, only blow up, junk tcases, and bad transmissions, and lower rent interiors

I’m saying like Germans, very expensive to maintain

Thanks for making my point

Joneez > TooManyCarsMike 05/13/2016 at 17:34

0

Sounds like it’s time for a taped over CEL.

Joneez > Prophet of hoon 05/13/2016 at 17:48

0

Or put countless hours, blood & tears into your own beloved hooptie, then due to financial shortcomings (partly due to said hooptie) be forced to sell it to someone who then gave it to their should-have-been-committed alcoholic son. Later you spot what at one time was your hooptie looking like it was used as an obstacle at a monster truck rally. But I’m not bitter. Really.

Prophet of hoon > Joneez 05/13/2016 at 17:56

1

I’m there for ya brother.

OlDirtDogg > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 18:05

0

The smell of oil burning on those engines is so easy to notice.

Flavien Vidal > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 20:47

0

That was a great write up! I have zero experience with Subarus other than getting one sideways during a frozen lake gymkhana... If I were to aim for a 2002/2003 WRX, would the reliability be just as bad??

LionZoo > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 20:54

0

So can you tell me if a 2015+ WRX front lower control arm is swappable to a 2014+ Forester?

Seat Safety Switch > Flavien Vidal 05/13/2016 at 22:39

0

The EJ205 cars are solid as long as you make sure the oil is kept topped up and that the previous owner kept the oil topped up (oil starvation in hard cornering is what kills most of the EJ205s I’ve seen). Swapping to an EJ255/7 pan and pickup mitigates some of this risk but not completely.

And also that you realize it’s a 13 year old car at best and replace all the parts that wear out (anything rubber in the engine bay) before adding boffo power.

Flavien Vidal > Seat Safety Switch 05/13/2016 at 22:45

1

Oh don’t worry about checking out the oil... I daily drive a 31 year old RX7. It’s like my daily ritual lol.

I’d really like to get myself a S202... Rare but since I live in Japan, findable...

ultimatt > silenceofthemuffler 05/16/2016 at 10:54

1

Branded for life. There are support groups, but your scarred knuckles and desire for a reliable Honda or Toyota will tell people all they need to know.

ultimatt > drdude 05/16/2016 at 10:56

1

Has your default mouth-sound car noise become a Subaru burble yet?
You still may able to be saved.

Tohru > LionZoo 05/24/2016 at 15:31

0

Yes. Some fabrication required.